Tag: words of wisdom

Paper Dog

The Humble FabulistLeave a comment

*Recent Resident Posting* on the bulletin board of my building’s website:

Title: DogSitting/Babysitting

Hi! My name is [….], and I live with my mother in apt […]. I’m looking to see if anyone is in need of dog sitting/walking. I’ve had experience sitting dogs, and cats for a good amount of time. (If you need a reference, I have […..] from apt 23). I’m reaching out because I love pets, especially dogs, and would love to sit or walk them as a means to work and to pay my tuition in school. I’m also a after school teacher/Head counselor, so if you need me to take care of your child, I’m available to speak about it at anytime after 6:30pm, which is the time I get out of work. If you need someone to dog/cat sit or babysit call me at […-…-….]. Thank you.

July 10th, 2017

Words of Wisdom – V

The Humble Fabulist2 Comments

*Recent Resident Posting* on the bulletin board of my building’s website:

Title: Amazing dog whisperer here to play with your dogs 😀 (Price: Free)

SO… I recently moved into the Ivy and noticed that there are a ton of dogs lovers in the building. And I’ve probably made small-talk with about 10 of you, just so you’d let me pet and play with your pup for a few minutes. Seeing that my roommate is allergic (I know, what a shame), I’m trying to get creative with my options to satisfy my dog-petting itch.If you need a dog-sitter or someone to play with your dog, I’m your guy 🙂

I’m a working professional that likes dogs. That’s about it. Thanks!

J.

May 26th, 2017

Forget Viagra Eat Oysters

The Humble FabulistLeave a comment

Also, if you’re really hungry, you might want to try those utterly delicious, palate titillating lump crab cakes of Faidley’s, this Baltimore Institution that has remained a family affair for three generations, today owned and operated by Bill and Nancy Devine.

Mrs. Devine, grandaughter of the founder John W. Faidley, Sr., is still very much actively involved; a lovely sight behind the counter, supervising, tasting, adjusting, dressed to the nines and self-assured, exuding the kind of confidence achieved by a life-time of work and an experience passed down from one generation to another.

Faidley’s is located inside Lexington Market, one of the oldest continuously operating food markets in the country and a a not-to-be-missed landmark on its own right. A pair of Faidley’s crab cakes is an added bonus – you just can’t leave Baltimore without tasting them at least once!

Faidley’s Seafood

April 26th, 2017

Words of Wisdom – II

The Humble Fabulist5 Comments

*New Resident Posting* on the bulletin board of my building’s website:

Title: FREE CONDOMS!!! Be Responsible 

I bought this huge variety pack of condoms about a year ago but unfortunately was not nearly as successful as I expected. I would like to give these away to someone who can get better use out of them. I’m moving out at the end of the weekend and am donating them to the local high school if nobody wants them. We have the best options that Trojan has to offer, Ultra Ribbed, Charged Intensified, Double Ecstasy, Ultra Thin and Bare Skin. Let me know if you want them and we can set up a confidential drop-off point so that nobody is aware of your sexual prowess. No hat, no party! 

***

If interested, please leave a *discreet* comment and I’ll put in a good word for you with my incredible neighbour.

Thank you!

PS: artwork from A Third Gender: Beautiful Youths in Japanese Prints exhibition in The Japan Society, March-June 2017

January 27th, 2018